Hello, Tokyo!

When I was younger I, like most guys I suppose, liked to play with breasts. I’d shove them in my face as if I were peering into lenses and play “Up Periscope.” I’d dial them in as if adjusting a shortwave radio. Sometimes I’d push ‘em together to make a single big one.

But, I never expected to hear music coming out of them.

Futurizon’s Ian Pearson is now predicting that women will embed MP3 players in their breast implants.

“Holy Hooters, Batman!” says I. “Tickle ‘em and they’ll provide their own soundtrack.” It makes one wonder, what the appropriate music might be. Something seductive? Festive? John Phillips Sousa marches?

I’d get more excited about this if I wasn’t still waiting for my rocket pack. Back in the 50s they promised we’d all have them by now.

Discuss Padded Bra in the Forum.

The Romanian Capitalist


Eighteen-year-old Alina Percea needs a good accountant. At the very least, she should be able to claim depreciation.

Alina left Romania for employment opportunities in Germany. She got a job as a waitress, but due to difficulty with the language was fired. So, being a resourceful young women she took stock of her assets, and took steps to monetize them.

She sold her virginity.

Alina was quite businesslike about it. Had two physical examinations, in order to provide medical certainty of her status. Then, she set up an on-line auction to offer herself to the highest bidder to pay for schooling. (She claims to be in pursuit of a computer degree).

And she did quite well. The winning bid, from an Italian businessman was slightly more than €10,000.

And now the German government wants half. They claim that although prostitution is legal in Germany, not paying tax on earned income isn’t. Read more »

If you’re not doing it, the other four people in the room likely are.


Two statistics which will bother my fundamentalist friends:

According to author Peggy Vaughan (The MonogamyMyth) most experts’ best educated guesses have 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives stepping outside their marital vows by age 40.

Since it’s unlikely that every wife who cheats also has a cheating husband, there will not be 100 percent overlap. If even half of the cheating women are not married to cheating men, then one must conclude that eight out of ten marriages will have at least one cheating partner.

Perhaps this is a sign of America’s moral decay. More likely, it’s a sign that marriage is an unnatural institution. Read more »

Hooray, Hooray! The first of May!


It’s the beginning of the outdoor sex season. Think of it as a bonding rite. A celebration of oneness with nature. (And rumor has it that women love to be whisked away to exotic locations).

Birds do it. Bees do it. Nearly every other species does it outdoors. Why should we not ignore caution and just join in? Two reasons.

First, it’s illegal in many jurisdictions.

Second, planning not to get caught is half the fun.

Read more »

Is Your Vagina Irish?


Perhaps it should be. And the good folks at Betty Products are making it easy.

For a mere $14.95 Betty Beauty, whose slogan is “Color for the hair down there,” offers their “Lucky Betty” bikini hair dye kit, which comes with a clover-shaped stencil in case you’d like to re-shape the bush. (Calling this topiary would probably be funny on two levels… but I digress).

Go Green, ladies! How else could you can be environmentally correct, and celebrate St. Patrick’s snake accomplishment at the same time?

And just imagine your guy’s surprise when you let him SEE that he’s going to get lucky.

Discuss Is Your Vagina Irish? in the Forum.