Archive for the 'Buddies with Benefits' category

The Worst Thing to Hear During Sex.

BLUESGUY:

I suspect the Ex’s (She Who’s Name Must Never Be Spoken) favorite saying during the act was “Hurry up and get it over with.” Trust me, there are few things less inspiring. Unless, of course, it’s getting caught saying “I love you Diana” when you’re with Joan.

Has it happened to you? Your partner says something that totally ruins the mood?

Worse yet, have you been the offender?

If only there was a central clearing house for statements guaranteed to spoil the mood.  Then we could simply check to see of a casual comment is acceptable, or not.

So a public service, (and for your reading enjoyment) I’ve compiled a far from comprehensive list of thoughts best left unvoiced.
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Thanks for the Memories

BLUESGUY:

Memory. It’s a pernicious thing.

For one thing, it’s selective. We summon up specific memories to reinforce our current moods - which is the reason for the classic “I love you, I hate you” 2am drunken booty call. We somehow forget that she was a certified loon, and only manage to remember that she was ready to try anything… at least once.

But for every time a recollection makes us smile, there’s that other one. The one we can’t seem to shake. The one that revolves around the dumbass thing we said when our subconscious became unguarded for just that small fraction of a second that it took to verbalize the dumbass thing.

And the worst part is that once the words are out there, they never go away. Those words, even when forgiven, hang suspended in memory for eternity.
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