Archive for August, 2008

We Used to Call Them “Lonely”


Political correctness isn’t a new concept. It’s just the current set of buzzwords.

The real estate industry has used them for years. “Charming” is code for “tiny.” “Rustic” translates as “needs repairs.”

Why do people insist on the use of euphemisms? To make them feel better about their purchases, of course. If all I can afford is “charming and rustic,” don’t rub my nose in it. Make me feel good about deciding to purchase my second, or even third choice.

In much the same way as real estate professionals, other groups have come up with their own code to make what they sell more palatable. In used cars, “mechanically sound” means “ugly.” And when discussing less attractive people, “lonely” also means “ugly.”
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Money and Sex.


They appeared perfectly happy together. The Feminist Blonde and her partner. I had the pleasure of their company at dinner. He was innocuous. She was delightful to look at. (Yes, I can be the classic MCP*). Unfortunately, I didn’t just get to look. She also felt compelled to share her opinions.

Please don’t think I find it unfortunate that an attractive woman has opinions. The misfortune is the obvious flaw in her education: lack of knowledge of mathematics.

Let’s examine two percentages: one out of one hundred million, and one hundred out of one hundred million. The first is 0.0001 percent. The second is 0.001 percent. Now, with those odds of success, tell me how much money you’d be willing to bet. Not much? Me, either.

With those odds of success, how hard would you be willing to work to become one of the .001 percent of executives who’ve “made it?” Would you forgo family, work round the clock, and never lose site of your focus on success? Most of us wouldn’t, but a minuscule portion of the workforce will. And most of those highly-driven execs are men.

But logic is lost on the Feminist Blonde. According to her theory she doesn’t make as much money as Bill Gates, or Warren Buffet, or Richard Branson because of the “good ole boys club” keeps women out. She apparently feels that these gentlemens’ successes have nothing to do with the infinitesimally tiny number of truly exceptional people who are willing to work longer, and harder, and perhaps more ruthlessly, and thus become heads of great companies. Nope. It’s a conspiracy.
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Readin’ and Writin’ and Lovin’


I stumbled across a Christian College website’s Home Economics program, subtitled “Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God.”

Apparently, they’ve based their program on a verse from Titus, which instructs older women to “admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God will not be discredited.

Am I reading this correctly? A college course is teaching women to joyfully submit to their husbands as part of the duties of a home economist?

What do I have to do to help them roll out this class nationwide?

Discuss wifely duties in the forum.

Pareto Calculates the Love Quotient


Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto first noted that 80 percent of the wealth in Italy, was held by 20 percent of the people. Since his observations, the 80/20 rule has been applied to nearly everything involving humans.

20 percent of the people you work with cause 80 percent of the aggravation of going to work. 20 percent of the movies coming out of Hollywood are worth seeing, and they rack up 80 percent of all theatre showings. 80 percent of the people in a restaurant will order only the most popular 20 percent of items on the menu. You get the idea.

Pareto’s principle is EVERYWHERE. But, as far as I know, I’m the first to apply it to women.

Men, in general, don’t understand women. And men generally accept that. But every now and then, a woman comes along that makes perfect sense. In fact, you find that you enjoy talking to her as much as you enjoy sneaking a peek down her blouse. (Yes, sometimes, life IS good).

So here’s the theory: if you believe you could enjoy any woman’s company at least 80 percent of the time, she’s one of the 20 percent worth keeping.

Discuss People you’d find attractive in the forum.

National Underwear Day


Today is National Underwear Day. Which immediately prompts the question, do you wear any?

Not wearing drawers is usually referred to as “going commando,” a reference to an old military custom of free balling while in uniform.

But, soldiers have a solid, practical reason.

Standard issue military underwear is made of cotton, which soaks up sweat and holds it like SpongeBob on steroids. Carry a backpack for a few kilometers of jungle, or desert while walking in sweat soaked underthings and your crotch gets rubbed raw.

I suspect this results in reduced enthusiasm for fighting.

A bevy of young ladies interviewed by the New York Post for National Underwear Day opined they were more comfortable when they were able to let their nether regions breathe. They also claimed that it was one less thing to think about when getting dressed.

Ladies, I’m all for keeping it simple. Women normally over think these things. Men simply look for things to eat, and things to blow up. Women seem compelled to find the number of fat grams are in each bag of Dorritos, and to obsess over exactly the right frillies to wear on a first date. But, I digress.
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