You Know the Question, Don’t You?

BLUESGUY:

\I’m convinced that women have no why men are drawn to them.

Do they worry about their worst features, concerned that every man dwells on the parts of a woman he finds unattractive? Or, do women assume that by asking the proverbial question, they can find a way to show off their best asset while simultaneously fishing for complements, and do all that under the guise of asking advice?

And the worst part is, as a guy, there’s never a correct answer.

You could try being reassuring. “Why, no Dear, not at all. Don’t give it another thought. You look wonderful.” Of course, she’ll accuse you of only trying to stay on her good side.

Then there’s the honesty ploy. “Well, now that you mention it, I’ve been meaning to ask you how you felt about it, ’cause I have noticed that they’re fitting a bit more snugly than they used to.” That answer is guaranteed to have you still begging come Christmas.

The only hope you have of coming out unscathed is the redirect: “I think you’re perfect just the way you are. Will you be wearing your new earrings tonight?

Sadly, this doesn’t work often enough.

Ladies, if a man has already called you for a second date, you don’t need to worry about it. He’s obviously of the opinion that it’s just right, or your other qualities are what matter. Either way, stop asking.

SINGLECHICK:

The proverbial question. To hear guys talk, it’s the bane of every man’s existence.

I can’t help it…this strikes me as funny. Ask just about any guy what he wants to watch on television, and he can answer. What beer he wants you to pick up at the store? He’ll answer. Pepperoni or Sausage, and again, he’ll give you an answer in no time flat. Ask him how you look and suddenly he’s the deer in headlights, and you’re the semi bearing down on him going 10 miles an hour over the speed limit.

Really, it’s not a trick question. And let me let you in on a little secret: she’s probably asking because she wants other women to look at her and not find fault. I know what I see as my body faults and flaws. I struggle while shopping to find something that will show off my assets while minimizing those flaws (that grow worse and sometimes larger the longer I stand in front of a mirror). Do I want to look good for the guy I’m with? Hell, yeah. Do I want to look good to the other women who will be where we are going? You better believe it.

Other women!?“, you say? “Why?

Women are a tough audience. Most of us have grown up seeing magazine covers with nearly perfect women who don’t sag, bag, shift or move (except in all the right places), who have perfect hair, great clothes, legs to their necks, and perky perfect boobs. And most of us have grown up where it was acceptable for guys to check out women without being subtle about it. Somehow we learn to measure ourselves against those same women who we see on those magazine covers, or aginst those women the men in our lives are ogling. When we go out where we know there are going to be other women, we still do the same thing. We measure ourselves against each other. It’s not nice, not good, but how it is.

It’s not that we don’t want to look good for YOU. We do. But we also know that if we aren’t at our best, there is going to be some woman who is asking another woman “What is he doing with her?“, or thinking “I look so much better than her.” It’s not so much insecurity, but a form of competition.

Maybe the whole PQ needs it’s own redirect.

Isn’t it kind of a given that men want the women in their lives to make them feel masculine, attractive, virile, and like they are the hottest thing going? Don’t they want to know these things by both word and deed? If this is so, then why is it so horrible for women to want to know it from the guy they are with? A circular question. Eww.

And for the record, Blues Guy, this just had me rolling:

The only hope you have of coming out unscathed is the redirect: “I think you’re perfect just the way you are. Will you be wearing your new earrings tonight?

If I’m asking the question, I’m not asking about ME, I’m asking about what I’m wearing and how it looks.

And guys just DO NOT notice jewelry.

Unless it’s all a woman is wearing…

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