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Topic: Relationships with the parents...  (Read 1575 times)
pesto
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« on: June 01, 2010, 11:06:57 AM »

... I'd be interested to hear about you guys' relationships with the parents of your other half, and your other halfs relationships with yours.

For J and I we said from the start that family was of top importance to both of us.  We both want to be able to support our families, and share our families with each other.

So far, that's working well.  I seriously have no worries.  I adore his mum and dad.  They lean on his a bit, and would lean on him more if we lived closer - but then, that's OK, I like to have a close family.  I like his mum a lot, she makes me feel so welcome and so do the rest of his family.  I've even met up with his sister on my own - well, with my sister, for a day out when our boys were away (she lives about an hour away).

My family love J.  My sister sees him like a brother, she told me.  My extended family love him too (it's a biiig extended fam!).

We had some of J's friends to stay with us over the weekend.  I like them a lot.  The wife of J's best friend told me lots of stuff, most of which she probably thought would be new to me but it really wasn't.  It was really interesting to hear what I know from another angle (didn't change anything).  But one thing she said is that his ex (who she is friends with) had real trouble with J's mum.  And that they think J's mum is controlling of her little boy.

I've just not seen it.  But then - she did say that his ex tried hard to battle that.  But all the examples of that that she gave - none of it's an issue for me.  He has his hair cut when I nag him - not when she says.  I buy clothes WITH him.  Yeah he spends time with them at the weekends when we're there - we both do.  We make an effort to.  We both talk to them on the phone.  And when he gets caught up and is late back when he's doing something for them - they apologise to me and try to shoo him away. 

She did say that his mum had told her husbands parents (they all know eachother!!!) that the ex was ok, but not the one for j.  Perhaps that's the difference.

It was just all a bit weird really.  I was definitely being given a heads up.  But I kind of feel that none of that is a major issue for us - and if I worry about it - it may become one! 

What are your experiences?
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icychic
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« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2010, 12:03:38 PM »

Being that they seem to have accepted you I think its more an fyi than a heads up. Its good to know they like you and probably its because they feel you are better for j than his ex was.

I get along with his parents and his bro has called me his sis. My mom likes him but my dad does want us to be together. My bro and sis I don't think have issues with him but we don't exactly do anything together with them.

I wish the rest of my family got along with him better but then I don't really get along with them, especially my dad so I can't really expect much.

It is definitely easy when friends and family approve. We get along with all our friends and from what I've heard his friends like me better then his ex.
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BluesGuy
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« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2010, 09:47:54 PM »

Both of my wife's parents are deceased.  However, my whole family loves her, and vice versa.  She and my mother are very close. 
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kellybean
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« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2010, 06:26:51 AM »

I've always gotten along with the man's parents, it helps that I've known them forever seeing as his sister is my BF...so I've been around awhile. And his mum and my dad worked together for over 35 years.
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« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2010, 02:36:37 PM »

I just think family is so important to me.  I love my family dearly so I guess it was always important that my man a) cared for his own family and b)wanted to be involved with mine - the corollory of that being I would want to be involved with his.

My ex never wanted to meet my family.  He actually hid when they visited - even when my mumbrought cookies to tempt him out!  Even though we spent a year together but a "secret", and then he cheated on me with our housemate, and said some (with hindsight, unforgiveable) things, the thing that eventually made me finish with him was that he refused to meet my family.
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« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2010, 03:46:25 PM »

His folks are in Oz so I've only ever really Skyped with them/emailed a bit.  They seem really sweet!  His Mom has some stuff going on I'd rather not get involved in, she's a little self absorbed, has a guilt complex from abandoning them when they were little and then walking back into their lives years later a lesbian. 

He's met my folks a bunch of times, we've done Christmas together.  They love him and he has nice chats with my Mum on the phone sometimes when I'm not home.  No drama!  My sisters love him too.  I haven't met his siblings yet but I'm looking forward to it! 

I was honestly never worried about it because I've always had good relationships with BF parents for some reason.  Adults like me Cheesy
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« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2010, 09:51:56 PM »

Her parents are gone.  My mother is nice enough, and a bit like me I guess when you sum it up, redneck and stubborn.  That said, she's a good woman, so my wife gets along with her passably well.  My father is everybody's friend, gets along famously with everybody he meets, is the life of the party, great guy all around...and he has no idea who his son is.  Goes out on cross country trips with a cousin of mine, the cousin is close to my age, lives close to me, and pop has no inkling to contact me (got a motorcycle myself) to go along, ever.  Get to see picture slideshows of him and my cousin biking across most of America, trips I'd love to make with the old man, and have told him so, and still nothing.  I literally don't exist to him, though he's pleasant enough when visiting 1 or 1.5 times a year to see the grand kids.  So I have my mom and honestly, she's a wonderful lady, if a bit rough around the edges, though I wish she hadn't abandoned me as a child.

Gotta stop posting on the internet, I'm depressing myself at this point.

Put on the happy face, pretend people mean something. That's better.   Smiley

Sorry.
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