This is the problem when someone is immature enough to make a promise they can't keep, a threat they can't carry out, or whatever he's done.  Too bad he can't just talk about what's going on inside his head and he feels like he's got to punish you or something.  Seems like some people learn that being a punisher often means punishing yourself.

But, really, instead of feeling sorry for him, you might try anger on for size.  After all, he gave you a date by which he was going to move out and he didn't.  If you were just his landlord, you'd now have the right to demand another month's rent for the holdover.

Plus, he's just being really insensitive.  Maybe he doesn't realize what a jerk he's really being to you.  Sounds to me like he's short on empathy.  Is he always this stuck inside his own head?

I don't think that it is so much that he is trying to be mean or punish me.  I think that he doesn't want to leave because he loves me, and he thinks if he does everything right, that we can get back what we once had, and he won't have to leave.

I suppose that if we were married, or I wasn't sure what I wanted,  this would all be a good thing.  Problem is the longer it goes, the more he does right, the more I wonder if I am making a mistake.  And then I remember what it is like, his jealousy and control, and I know that he can't sustain this for the long haul. 

It's all kinda confusing.

Gotta say - I am in AWE of you.

Its been a long time since I was alone. I loved it and hated it. Wanted a partner and yet loved being independent. But, that was so many years ago.

Now, at my ripe old age, I know I could be alone and do it pretty happily and comfortably but I love living with GF more than I have ever loved living with anyone else. Its different. Just very very different.

It sounds like you have made a strong decision jilly. Again, I'm just so very impressed.

(pssst - stick to your guns ...)

We had a talk last night.  He will be out by the 1st.  I believe him, it was a pretty bad talk.  This is just so hard.  Parts of me want to beg him to stay, the other part just wants him gone today. 

I know we can't be friends afterwards.  There is just no way.  There is way to much hurt for both of us. 

I keep wondering what it is that I do wrong in relationships.  Maybe it is that I am to independent and stubborn.  I feel like a little girl that just isn't smart or pretty enough right now.   My self esteem has really taken a hit.  I'm not even sure who I am right now.  I have somehow lost that through that last 2 years of trying to be what he wanted me to be.  And to make matters worse, my old life just isn't there anymore.  So much has changed  since I met L.   I feel like I am going to have to start all over trying to have a life.

Bran, I don't feel strong right now, but thanks for the vote of confidence.  I will find my way through this, I guess it just takes time.

Well...at least it's out there now. No gray areas.

I admire you Jill.  It's not easy.  So many people just hang on b/c of so many factors. 
You'll be back to your old self in no time...it won't take long.

Has he started packing yet? How have things been since your last talk? You gonna go away for the wknd or stay and help or supervise him as he packs and leaves?  I think you should tell him you're gone for the wknd and you be back sunday whatever time, then he knows he's got the wknd to move it all out and you can start fresh when you come home to him and his stuff being gone.

How are you holding up? Try to be strong, you know this really is for the best you've gone back and forth between good and bad with the same cycle too much now. Its time to move on with your life and reconnect with old friends. Trust me, your ral friends, the ones who truly care about you and your happiness, will be there for you when you call and want to hang out again. So start makin some calls and some plans! *HUGS*

How ya doin Jilly? 
What's the scoop?