6 Things to Try If You Want Sex More Than Your Partner Does

http://www.alternet.org/story/147587/6_things_to_try_if_you_want_sex_more_than_your_partner_does

Whadaya think?

BTW, I want that statue. I have a small collection of porn-ish statues, fake pre-Columian and other stuff. I'd love to have the real thing but doubt I could afford it.

Love that statue too!

I like the 'redefining' what sex is.  It doesn't always have to be intercourse. The other suggestions were good.

Back when I was in a low/no sex relationship, half the reason I figured out that my ex really wasn't into sex was because I had tried all of these things already and all they did was make the situation worse.  Maybe that's because if someone is trying to send you a message by not sleeping with you very often, the last thing they want you to do is deal with it in a postive way.

I never did have the desire to try an open relationship, though.  I don't think that would have improved much of anything, though.

I thought the article was pretty funny.

For example, scheduling sex.  If a person doesn't want as much sex, the LAST thing they will want is to know that on Weds at 9pm they are expected to "put out" even if they don't want to.

And re-defining sex?  If they dislike sex already, they are not going to be open to "sharing fantasies" or "mutual masturbation"! 

And finally, an "open relationship?"  Seriously?  C'mon!  I really have to wonder how many individuals would be OK with that? 
"Honey, since you are not willing to have sex with me, I thought I would just go out and find someone that would.  Would it be OK if we used the bedroom before you went to sleep?"

"Oh sure sweetie.  Just don't leave a wet spot I have to sleep on".

I would venture to say less than .01% of couples having sex issues have used the "open relationship" as an alternative.  There might be 8 in the whole world.

Maybe I will try it with my wife.  I have met a few cute gals lately...maybe I should bring one or two home and see what she thinks?   

Do let us know how that goes! 

The only situation in which these things work is a situation in which both partners are willing to talk about sex openly and discuss their wants and desires.
In many mis-matched relationships, this is far from the situation....so it might work for some people, but I think Dan Savage is mostly right. 

I also think Savage was mostly right. He usually is.

For us, scheduling sex is fun. Sometimes its almost an extension of foreplay. Lots of kisses throughout the day, a light dinner, not too much wine. But yeah MC, the way you put it - if I didn't already want to have sex with him, I would hate having to think about it all day. As it is, I end up having some really wonderful fantasies.

Speaking of fantasies -  I have injured the rotator cuff in my right shoulder and just had to have an MRI. I'll see the surgeon this next Wednesday to find out if I just need an injection(s). If its more than that, if I have to have surgery, I really don't' know what I'll do because I will refuse to go back to the post-op floor of our local hospital.  I simply will not do it.

Anyway, if you've ever had this kind of injury you know how painful it is and having to lay under the MRI machine for 45 minutes just hurt like crazy.  I'm pretty good  at Mind Over Matter and can make my mind just go away. We had not made love in almost a week and I was getting kinda nutty so, what the hell, I closed my eyes and lived out this really long and involved sexual fantasy while the damn MRI machine was banging and klunking in my ears. Nice.

One thing and another and we didn't actually get around to making love again until a couple of nights ago - GAWD how I do LOVE that man.

Because of my injuries of the past three years, we've kind of had to redefine sex too. Its been wonderful. Really. Don't throw this out with the bathwater.

As one (ugh) "ages", one must make allowances for certain things. Plainly put, we don't tear up the sheets like we did in 1973 but damn - it really is the best, the most satisfying sex I've ever had.

(When we first met, 1973, he was 35, I was 27, we really did shred my sheets. We went out and bought new sheets, laughing and giggling and blushing. Bought the new sheets, had dinner, bought a bottle of wine and went home to try out the sheets. Loved it.)

"Open relationships" - never. He is mine, mine, MINE.
 
I do not, never have, never will share my toys with anyone. Period. End of discussion.

Agreed. He is mine, if I was ok with him sleeping with someone else I'd not be with him. I'm a one man gal who likes a one woman man. None of this open relationship bs. Tho for some it does work, however I believe that's mostly when both partners are seeking and finding others.

Did anyone else notice that each of the suggestions was designed to make the partner change?

Snort.  Yeah, that's going to work.